breaking and building

Why am I still here? I should have left a long time ago. But I didn’t, hoping that things would change. Unfortunately, they don’t. And here I am, still hoping. Will things ever change? I doubt it. I don’t think it will. I am broken inside. I feel cheated. Sorry just isn’t enough. It doesn’t put the pieces of my heart back together. I am still broken. Will it ever mend? I don’t know. I don’t have a clue. They said that time heals wound. I’ve no idea how far it is true because it’s only days since I found out about the truth. Why do people lie? Because I am stupid enough to believe that someone could actually be faithful to me. That’s why. Haven’t I learned my lesson yet? I should have. It happened once and of course it’d happened again, and again, and again. When will it stop? Don’t ask for I really don’t have the answer. Will I still be able to live? Of course. I am strong enough to face this. But am I really that strong? I guess I am. Why am I still crying? Because they said it’s okay to cry. Why do I feel insecure? Because I’ve let my guard down and when things came crashing in, I wasn’t shielded. But I’m building the barriers again, bit by bit, so when the time comes, nothing can break it, let alone touch it. I’ll cover them with barb wire. Anybody who tries to knock will be hurt before they can even enter. That’s how I’ll be. Strong and shielded. Will it be easy to trust again? This time, I know the answer; NO. So for now, I’m just going to let time decides. I’ll be okay. Soonish. I’m the iron-lady-in-the-making, remember?

Juliette xx
Listening to : Bend And Not Break - Dashboard Confessional