Scaredy-Cat

image : google

A few weeks ago, I was doing some random googling because I couldn't sleep. I was actually trying to find out when do mommies-to-be start preparing for their little ones' arrival. Googling brought me to blogs after blogs. It was fun at first, until I stumbled upon a personal birth story.

First few paragraphs : Oh, wow! This is not so bad.

Further into the story : Urm, oh..kay..

Towards the end : It cannot be this scary, can it?

I closed the laptop, snuggled closer to the Hubs, and broke down in sobs. I was scared as hell. Traumatized, just by reading a personal experience. It only took one story, just ONE.

My uncontrollable sobs woke the Hubs up. He asked what's wrong, I refused to tell him as I was ashamed of myself for being THAT scared. He insisted, I caved. Told him what the problem was, but he was not any help at all! "Kalau asyik tidur je memang la susah." I wailed! Then he continued, "Ala, don't worry, it'll all be OK. Macam sakit gigit semut je." Dang, he's not the one to go through the process, is he? Geram betul. Cried myself to sleep and shunned him the next day.

Talked to Mama about the whole experience, she said I think too much. And she said she was lucky that during her time, internet was a very rare thing, so she didn't have to read stories like that and didn't have to think about it at all. Yep, I had to admit she was right.

So, right now, I'm trying to stay away from birth stories. I think I'm not ready for them, yet. Takut dia lain macam. Hopefully when the time comes for me, I will have an easy one. I pray for an easy process, insyaAllah. I hope God hears my prayer. *crossing fingers*

Moi xx

Listening to : -