b i t t e r s w e e t

F I N A L S are O V E R!!!! I am so E X C I T E D! Sad at the same time because everybody's leaving soon. I only have 9 more days with Jessica and Andrea. That's pretty sad though.

I was really depressed yesterday. I spent 60€ on clothes! I was really really depressed that I started cleaning my room again. This is one weird thing I'll do whenever I'm sad or stressed. Once finished cleaning the room, I broke into tears. It was a really good ten minutes cry. Why was it good? Because I fell asleep soon after crying and when I woke up, I felt much better. That's what I call a good cry. I woke up just before maghrib. And I managed to 'baca Yasin' yesterday. I haven't done it for quite a long time. I guess it's Him who we finally turn to whenever things aren't alright. And I managed to do some revisions in peace after that.

It was weird that my phone was raining with calls last night while I was sleeping. I ignored most of them except my parents' calls. Mama called to ask how I was doing and Abah called to say that he'd be leaving for Malaysia today. So I guess, he's already on his flight back by now. The rest of the calls were from some friends, and this long list of missed calls from an unknown number. I couldn't call back because c'est "inconnu". So please, whoever using this unknown number, stop calling me because I won't pick up your call. Unless you're calling me using a reachable number.

I've been thinking about what Abah said to me last night. Whatever he said is true in some way and it's obvious that he's really worried about me. As his eldest daughter, I've done so many things that I shouldn't have and I guess he wants me to change for the better. Stop being such a spoilt brat. He told me to concentrate on my studies before anything else. And he said something like he doesn't want anyone to hurt me. Writing this makes me want to cry, again! Sheesh! Anyway, if Abah ever comes across my blog, I just want you to know that I'm starting to change. And guess what? I started by throwing away all the things I shouldn't be keeping, you know what they are. Oh talking about things I shouldn't keep, who took my pictures with xxxx down the wall? I didn't take them down. Some other pictures in my room were missing too. Somebody must have done it because when I checked under my bed, just in case if they fell off the wall, they're not there. That's just weird. They can't just evaporate into thin air, can they?

Anyways, we're having a party tonight! La fête de la fin du semestre! I am so looking forward to it! I guess everybody's going to be there. I can't wait! Alright, I think I've written enough for today.

And oh, I am terribly missing the boyf. I wonder if he misses me too...

Juliette xx
Listening to : Tired Of Being Sorry - Enrique Iglesias