Sorrowful Monday and Tuesday, and so on.....

I am just so tired. My Tok Chu passed away yesterday morning. I received the disturbing news as I was just about to go to sleep Sunday night. Well, it was already midnight at that time which means it was already morning in Malaysia. Abah sent me a text, Mama did the same thing afterwards. I took it pretty hard. I haven't seen him for a very long time and the last time I saw him was during Raya, so, I broke into tears right after I've been told. I called my fiancé, just in time he had to wake up for work. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. I started imagining things. I know that people die when the time comes. Nevertheless, not knowing when the time really is kind of bothers me. I don't want that to happen to any of my loved ones. The thing that scares me the most is that I'm not going to be there when it happens. And because I'm so far away, I won't get to see them before they go. What if that happens while I'm in France? Would I be able to go back on time? Would people wait for me? I don't think so. That's why I pray to God, day and night not to take my loved ones away when I'm not there, and if He wills it, never, ever.

The lack of sleep made me one unhappy lady yesterday. I didn't go to Mandarin class because I was exhausted and I needed some rest. I thought I could go straight to bed right after I got home, but no, my system just refused to shut down. And when I was finally able to sleep, I slept like a baby. I didn't hear my alarm went off. I woke up late that I missed this morning's class. That made me even crankier. I decided to go to the gym despite the awful weather. I stayed at the gym for hours. Just to kick the bad feeling away. It worked. I'm no longer sad. I'm just tired. Very tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep in a while. Hopefully tomorrow's test is going to be easy. It's just phonology, anyway.

Oh, by the way, someone's been calling with a number I don't recognize. I won't answer my phone if I don't know the number. So, whoever was it that called, you better text me your name or something so that I'll pick up the phone the next time you ring. Calling me hundreds of time won't make me answer the phone, it only scares me. I do not wish to pick up the phone and find out it's someone I've been trying to avoid. I'd really appreciate it if you could introduce yourself first by texting. ;]

Okay, then. I think I really need to get some rest. Toodles!~

Juliette xx
Listening to : Stuck To You - Hellogoodbye